Plus, all the character interaction is woven into the story. You’re looking at high-quality primo writing, with well fleshed out characters. This isn’t some guy’s idea of a story, written in a dimly lit basement across art assets in Adobe Photoshop. What I can say for this game’s writing is that while it might not be original, it’s definitely well written. Oh, you have heard that one before? In about a million other medieval games? Well, don’t expect anything new here. Then, fate throws you a curveball as you’re embroiled into power plays that are beyond your understanding, but seem to revolve around you nonetheless. You want more out of life as you dream for grandeur and success, but you have no idea where to even start looking for more than what you already have. You’re the kind of guy who is equal parts forgettable and a klutz. You play as a random nobody farmer, in a medieval fantasy setting. Stop me if, at any point, you’ve heard any of this story before. That’s this developer’s idea of core gameplay, apparently. You gotta remember patterns and then play them back, for no reason at all. I swear to God, it was literally just Simon Says, but with arrows. Most of them aren’t even that interesting. Either way, the mini-games are in there for the hell of it. You’d think they could just as easily have removed them from the game and launched it as-is, but then they’d have to admit that this is less of a game and more of a Saturday morning cartoon. In a video game where 90% of all you do is talk to other people, mini-games are core gameplay. There are mini-games in this game, and they’re supposed to be considered core gameplay. Well, my anger over mini-games should be clear by now, and this game sets off all of my bullshit meters. Why in all shits would you think that I’d want a break from the awesome gameplay I signed up for? Sigh. I want to play the actual game that I booted up, to begin with.
I don’t want to play another game, damn it. Whether I’m playing a gacha porn game or I’m hacking computers in Deus Ex, I’ve always found mini-games inside of games to be an absolute fucking nightmare.
Yay! If I could be any less excited for a game mechanic, I’d literally be dead right now. It’s time for the worst part of any video game you’ve ever played – mini-games. What I am saying is that you should get through the rest of this review and decide for yourselves. So, is it not worth playing at all? I’m not saying that. Well, if you’re like me, you’re going to feel like a lot of your time got wasted getting through this game, because half of the time, you’ll forget there even are tits in Faulty Apprentice. It’s not that I’m not a classy guy or anything I just don’t like having my time wasted. If I’m not sure that smut is on the table for later in the evening, I won’t even take her out to get dinner. I don’t spend hours with a woman only to send her on her way with a kiss on the cheek.
See, usually, when I’m on a date, that’s kind of the prequel episode to the amazing sex-filled night that comes right after. It’s a proper story-driven visual novel with dating elements, but it’s the kind of dating you might expect a nerd to take part in. Plus, it’s the kind of game you pay for once and own for life, so you know they aren’t going for your wallet or anything. Now, I’m not saying it’s a bad game, mind you. It’s similar to porn game fanfare, but overall the majority of the game has nothing at all to do with titties. How can that be? Well, the porn scenes are kind of tacked on as romantic rewards for and with characters that you have gone out of your way to romance. What you’re looking at here is definitely not a porn game, but there are sex scenes. But, I know you guys depend on my reviews for quality coverage of potential smut, so I’ll grit my teeth and get through this one for you. Once in a while, I’ll review a porn game that isn’t technically a porn game, and I feel like my time is kind of wasted.
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